S C A R S

“There is something beautiful about all scars, whatever nature. A scar means hurt is over, the wound is healed, the wound is closed and healed, done with.”

The first scar I ever had was from the time I fell from my racer bike. It was on my shin. I was embarrased because I fell in front of my “crush”. Good thing he helped me up. I didn’t feel the pain or even realize that the cut was so deep that you could see tissues already. Hair never grew there anymore. That was probably early high school. Fast forward to 1999.

Because of the trauma I went through, both physical and emotional, I was sent to psychologists and even new age geomancers to “help” me with this “pain” I was going through. This lady I met during my time of dispair, still carrying a child in my womb, told me that, when we get hurt, scars build up inside and out. I can attest to that.

I call them my BATTLE SCARS.

I have one on top of my head that looks like a horseshoe because of my craniotomy. One cup of brain mass with removed. In medical terms, arteriovenous malfomation or AVM which are the abnornal connections of blood vessels. This is said to be congenital. This can happen in any part of the body, it’s just that mine happened in the brain.

Below my throat because of the endotracheal intubation used when patients are unable to breath or their own or unconscious, in my case, being in a coma for 10 days and more, even 3 months after. When I was able to breath on my own, the metal tracheostomy tube was removed but wound was left to heal on it’s own. Then, I had my voice back…well sort of, took a while too.

Third was the emergency C-Section due to fetal distress and astonishingly high blood pressure of 240/120. Had to deliver a month shy of being full term. Yup, a straight line down. Goodbye to bikinis!

Lastly, from my 12 years of wearing an AFO (Ankle Foot Orthosis) that helps me walk. BUT wait, I’m still in the process of recovering from ankle surgery. That’s 3 instant new scars that I haven’t seen. Something to look forward to.

Because of the “cuts” in my body, the supposedly flow of life is disrupted which I can apply to my life. However, I firmly believe that ALL WOUNDS heal, deep or shallow. Take NOTE. WILL HEAL.

It took my 6 years to CHOOSE to HEAL because I realized that there is so much more to life than a broken heart and rejection. The blessings I have recieved, first and foremost, my son, and my second chance in life. I have only scratched the surface. Once I realized this, everything fell into place. I opened up what I thought woud be scared-for-life-heart, remembering the trauma never wanting to fall into that trap again.  However, it is true, that once you have learned to let go of the hurts of the past, countless blessings will follow. It’s an instant boost of making you stronger in almost all aspects of your life. Or that could be just me.

Just remember, LIFE GOES ON and trust that God will never give us anything we cannot handle.

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